Taxation vexation

The Rain Dance has been a central fixture for a number of Agrarian tribal societies across the world. From the ancient Egyptians to the Native Americans, the ardent followers danced and called upon their gods to open the heavens and shower their blessings upon them. However, it seems as if the Pakistani nation had been dancing to the wrong tune of late, or did not know when to stop. Not only have the heavens unloaded their full bounty upon the unsuspecting lowly denizens of the Land of the Pure, they are being made to partake of their hard earned income and pour it in the government’s coffers in the form of a “Flood Tax”. But this is only the latest entrant in the club of

Now we have all been playing dumb charades with the taxes that we have been paying for years. Central Excise Duty or CED comes off as a sinister and calculating bureaucrat who is always laying out nets to ensnare the hapless taxpayers. However, a couple of years back, it was renamed as the Federal Excise Duty of FED (which is also the name given to the Federal Reserve of the US) The Carbon Tax imposed last year sounds like a menacing axe wielding masked blackguard which goes about slashing the tail pipes of all commuters.

And of course who can forget the General Sales Tax or GST which sounds like a nasty b*tch , exploiting people’s needs and wants. Be it a housewife trying to balance her monthly budget and squeezing in as many groceries as she can in the process, or the average salaried class person struggling to keep the show going for the entire family circus or the pensioned citizen who is persistently trying to keep on, keeping on; they all curse and scream away at the cold-hearted witch that is GST. Yet the powers that be (of which, unlike electrical ones, there never seems to be a shortage of), are trying to present us with a “reformed GST”. Now this is one facelift/makeover that will be hard to stomach.

But wait, there is another vile and despicable tax rearing its ugly head horns and all. The Value Added Tax or VAT seems to portray a repulsive and bulbous creature, akin to the Jabba the Hutt from the Star Wars movies, that feeds and relishes upon the blood and toil of its subjects, or those unfortunate enough to fall prey to its nefarious schemes. The VAT (ughhhh..just gives one the shivers just saying it, like a big VAT of FAT.. hmm maybe this could be used as the Flood Added Tax) is all geared to throw its weight around and demand its bhatta at every stage of the production and processing of goods and services. It is the perfect ill-begotten offspring of the IMF (International Mafia Fund) that is going to be unleashed upon the Paki-land. Just like a cat playing with the mouse it has just caught, before it gobbles it up.

So let’s all make a new dance. A dance to a beat that will try to invoke the mercy of the gods of financial trickery to not rain down upon us a deluge of taxes, surcharges and duties and instead crack open the reservoirs holding the wealth of the nation and let that trickle down to Pakistan’s citizens.